• November 5, 2013
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    • Negative Thinking? Transform it into a positive belief!

      In a previous article, I have explored how our negative core beliefs keep us stuck. If you are not familiar with this I suggest you read "How to get Unstuck" first.

      Now before going ahead make yourself comfortable. Take a pen and paper and get ready to do some very valuable work that will make a real difference in your life. Take your time with this. The more you put into it the more you will get out of it.

      Ok, let's get down to work: start by writing down the first restrictive negative belief you want to change. Then proceed with the following steps:

      20 Steps to Positive Change


      Step 1

      On a scale of 1-10, how true does this belief subjectively feel?

      Step 2

      On a scale of 1-1- how true is this belief in reality? (be as neutral and objective as possible)

      Step 3

      When does this belief the most emotionally convincing?

      Step 4

      When does it feel the least emotionally convincing? Take your time answering this question as this will reveal to you what conditions exasperate the issue and what makes it better.

      Step 5

      What actual evidence do you have for this belief? what supports it? Be realistic and as neutral as possible

      Step 6

      What actual evidence contradicts and challenges this belief? What evidence is there to show you it might not be necessarily true?

      Step 7

      What possible advantages are making you want to hold on to it? In what way could this belief be serving you beneficially in some perverse way?

      Step 8

      What disadvantages are there in holding on to it?

      Step 9

      Recalling and staying with this doubting state start doubting your current belief. Ask yourself those questions again: does this belief really fit with what is truly important to me? In the past, when did this belief interfere with what I wanted to do? What would it be like to be free of this old belief?

      Step 10

      After rolling these questions in your mind for a while focus again.Is this negative belief an over-generalisation? Is it the result of catastrophising? Is it just a personal attack against your person or others? Does it label you or others into something fixed? Is it the result of demanding of yourself something unreasonable, such as 'you SHOULD be or do such and such"?

      Step 11

      After careful consideration how true does your old belief feel now on a scale of 1-10? Now comes the fun part: relax, take a few deep breathes and close your eyes.

      Imagine that there's a furnace somewhere deep inside yourself.

      If you really want to permanently destroy that old belief imagine throwing it into that fire and watch it burn away into ashes. Take pleasure in doing this.

      Step 12

      Now ask yourself: what would be a more helpful and realistic alternative belief to have? State it positively (say what you want not what you don't want!) Make sure you are happy with it. Word it in the present tense, as if it was happening now. (i.e. I believe I am good enough as I am, or, I believe I deserve love just as I am)

      Step 13

      On a scale of 1-10, how true does it feel right now?

      Step 14

      As you did before ask yourself, when does the new belief feel the least and the most emotionally convincing.

      Step 15

      Examine the evidence against this new belief? Is there any problem with it? Then find evidence that proves its correctness and usefulness. Write it down

      Step 16

      Write down any disadvantages there may be for holding this new positive belief. Be as objective as possible

      Step 17

      Write down all the advantages of holding this new positive belief now.

      Step 18

      Now ask yourself: what would be a more helpful and realistic alternative belief to have? State it positively (say what you want not what you don't want!) Make sure you are happy with it. Word it in the present tense, as if it was happening now. (i.e. I believe I am good enough as I am, or, I believe I deserve love just as I am)

      Step 19

      Now go inside yourself again.

      Recall a time in the past when you felt receptive and willing to learn. 

      Remember what it was like to be open to change and new beliefs.

      • How did it feel? 

      Re-live that time in as much detail as possible. 

      • Where in your body did you feel those feelings? 
      • What were you telling yourself?

      Do all it is possible now to achieve that same state again now. Staying with that memory of feeling receptive and open focus on your new belief.

      • How would it feel to accept this new belief? 
      • How is it better than the previous one?
      • How different would your life be if you held this new belief as your own?
      • What would you be doing that you were doing before? What could you achieve and overcome that you weren't able to before?
      • Think about all this and engage with your new belief.

      Step 20

      Now evaluate your new belief. Do you need to make any changes? Can you improve on it in any way? How good do you feel holding it? On a scale of 1-10, how true does it feel now?

      Now Take Action!

      Now decide to take some action. What can you do differently right now, today, as a result of having acquired this new belief? If you truly believed in it, what would you do differently?  Set yourself a task based on this belief being true and decide what action you would take.


      Start doing things differently right now so that your new belief gets empirical support and you experience it in your life. This way it gets verified, enhanced and supported and therefore embedded in your new behaviour patterns.


      Have fun with it, experiment and watch your life change and feel great as a result!

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      Tags

      limiting beliefs


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