The real reason why you are underachieving
- Do you feel lost, directionless and dissatisfied?
- Do you feel like there is more to life but struggle to find out what that is?
- Do you feel like you are underachieving and you are not living up to your potential?
- Do you feel confused, unclear, almost as if life is a puzzle and you just can't seem to find the missing piece?
Perhaps you have a habit of going in one direction only to give up halfway and try something else or maybe you stay put and don't venture into the new because you're not sure if it'd be the right thing for you. You wish you were like those people that knew what they wanted to do in life since childhood. You wonder if perhaps you are just different from everyone else and there is no point in even trying but you don't want to give up just yet.
You are aware that it's important to set goals but the idea of doing that makes you feel anxious or perhaps even angry. How do you set a goal if you haven't got a clue what you want? Goals may seem arbitrary or superficial or you worry you would get it wrong and then find yourself hating the direction you've chosen. Maybe you want to have no doubts before you start so you risk failure less. If only there was something you could do to clear the brain fog and actually be sure of yourself...
You may think you are alone in this but the truth is a lot of people go through this before finding clarity. So how did they find the answer that allowed them to move on? They stopped trying to find their direction in a rational way and instead connected to their heart's desire. Here's how.
The fool proof method to transform difficult decisions into invigorating action
Imagine you have just woken up from a dream. You are trying to understand what it means and you come up with all sorts of rational explanations, except none of them make sense.Why? Because dreams are not rational.
They are about emotions and trying to understand an emotion with your rational mind does not work. The same applies to making life decisions.
We think we make decisions using our analytical and logical skills. The truth is we don't. We are guided by our feelings, whether negative or positive, and we base our decisions on them. Later we rationalise the choice we've made and convince ourselves it was the right one by finding reasons why we should pursue that particular action instead of another. Ask any good marketer how they get you to buy their product. You will learn a lot.
So why is this relevant? Because if you try to select your goals or find your direction using your analytical mind you will only get lost in a maze of possibilities that get you nowhere. There is no real rational reason why one option is better than another. All directions could be equally valid from a logical standpoint. It depends on what you value and what 'feels right for you'. So the key to the process is to connect to your 'heart' and live the 'head' behind.
Your head, or your conscious analytical reasoning just wants you to stay safe inside your comfort zone. Its main job is to keep you alive and away from risk. The problem with this is that if you listen to it you will also stay small and not be able to connect to what makes you feel alive. The heart on the other hand, or if you like, your 'soul', wants you to expand, grow, and is not really interested in comfort. When you connect to your its voice you will feel a sense of freedom and excitement but also fear. That's your signal you've hit the jackpot.
When you connect to your heart you will feel a sense of freedom and excitement but also fear.
How to eliminate confusion and find direction once and for all
Confusion comes from too many conflicting ideas that are competing for our attention. Some may be connected to other people's judgement around what you 'should' and 'shouldn't do' which you may or may not have internalised to some extent. Some may have to do with what you imagine is expected of someone your age, gender and status. Some may be ideas you formed in childhood about what you would be when you grew up. All of this is simply irrelevant clutter that must be eliminated. The best way to do this is to not even engage in trying to sort it out. Instead connect to your intuition.
So, how do you do that? The straightforward answer is you can't. Not in your normal everyday awareness. If there's too much noise it's impossible to hear the music. And the conscious monkey mind never stops its chatter. So what you need to do is to bypass it and access the deeper truth of your emotions instead. But first you need to calm the body and focus the mind. In other words, you induce a state of self hypnosis or meditation and then go through what I call 'The envisioning process'.
Unlock the secrets of your heart: The Envisioning process
Here's a powerful exercise that activates your intuition and connects you to your dreams.
- First of all induce a state of relaxation and inner focus. If you know how to meditate do that. Use self hypnosis. Listen to relaxing music. Alternatively simply take at least 9 deep breaths while sitting alone without any distractions. If you have difficulty relaxing you may want to seek the help of a hypnotherapist to learn effective techniques to let go.
- Be specific about the area you are working on : what are you wanting to clarify? relationships? your overall life’s purpose? a project you are involved in? your career goals? something else?
Once you are relaxed follow these steps:
- Imagine encountering unconditional love. What would it be like? Sit in a field of unconditional love, imagine what it would be like to be loved unconditionally or remember a time when you actually felt this. Imagine you are safe and completely accepted just as you are. Amplify the field ten, fifty, one hundred times.
Now put a hand on your heart or simply connect to that area and ask the questions outlined below. After asking each of them be quiet, sit back and listen. Wait with an attitude of reverential alertness, surrender, receptivity, make yourself available, maintaining an awareness of the answers you get :
- what is seeking to emerge in this particular area at this point of my life ?
- What hidden potential is trying to come forward?
- What’s the next step that’s trying to happen to make this possible?
- What must I become in order to manifest that which is trying to emerge in my life? Release any sense of judgment or censorship and be honest about where you must grow
- What do I already have that can be in service to the vision ?
- When you have the answers activate the sacred YES within you. Open your heart and be willing. Welcome this opening. If this is hard think about a moment in your life in which you may not have known exactly how to do something but you were willing to go for it anyway.
- Say: Yes I can. Yes I am willing. Give up resistance. Trust the wisdom of your inner voice.
- Now articulate your vision in as much detail as possible. How does it feel to accept this in your life? Imagine this goal as already manifest, what does your life look like now? How do you feel now that it is? See what your eyes would see and hear what your ears would hear and feel what you would feel if this goal was already a reality. Connect to the emotion as much as you can. This will give you the fuel you need to bring it to fruition. Trust the resources will show up if you do. Trust the universe will respond if you do. Don't beg for it or doubt it, believe in it. Become available to it and celebrate it as if you already have it. By entering gratitude you are opening up to opportunities that will help you along the way.
- Open your eyes and write down your experience immediately. What have you discovered? What is the very first step you have to take now to start the ball rolling? Commit to take that very step straight away.
- Write down your vision on a board where you can see it or on your phone / fridge / computer. Visualise the wanted outcome every day spending a few minutes imagining the goal is already a reality and connecting to the corresponding positive emotion. Keep going until your goal is achieved.
- Now go and take action and reward yourself for it. Learn more about how to stay motivated here.
4 KEYS to FINDING CLARITY
MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL:
Stop everything else and do the Envisioning Process now!
The secret sauce to get immediate results now:
Record yourself speaking the instructions for the Empowering Process on your phone. Make sure to leave at least 5 minutes of silence at the beginning. When you talk to yourself use a soothing relaxing voice like you would with a child you cared about. Speak slowly and leave yourself plenty of time in between questions, don't rush and take your time!
If you find it hard to implement these practices you may need extra professional help. Feel free to give me a call and discuss your case with me in detail.